My Pink Shoelace

if I said I Love You … What Would You Do?

December 10, 2007

She Left Me

Am so alone and I feel so empty, as if life doesn’t have anything in store for me. She passed away morning of Sunday in her sleep. I wrote Saturday night that am scared she won’t be around when I wake up the next day. She never was … was even able to prepare a cup of milk for her midnight then I went back to sleep, when I woke up the next day at first glance I thought she was just sleeping but then she was cold and she was no longer breathing. No matter how loud I cry for her name, there was no response. She left me and I am alone.

It will come to pass that’s all they say, my uncle from mom’s side, friends who came to visit … they never saw the tears but damn am just so empty. Home doesn’t sound or feel like home anymore. I don’t see any reason why I should ever wake up, why I should continue to eat, when the future seem so bleak. I just lost my reason for living. I don’t have any sense of direction, I don’t know what will become of me and what life has to offer ahead. Everything just seem so dark, keep wishing she’d just take me as well. Rather than I continue living all miserable and these tears cant seem to stop falling.

 

I try to be strong in front of everyone else but when am alone with my thoughts and my fears I cant stop .. cant stop these sorrow that’s slowly eating me.