My Pink Shoelace

if I said I Love You … What Would You Do?

December 10, 2007

She Left Me

Am so alone and I feel so empty, as if life doesn’t have anything in store for me. She passed away morning of Sunday in her sleep. I wrote Saturday night that am scared she won’t be around when I wake up the next day. She never was … was even able to prepare a cup of milk for her midnight then I went back to sleep, when I woke up the next day at first glance I thought she was just sleeping but then she was cold and she was no longer breathing. No matter how loud I cry for her name, there was no response. She left me and I am alone.

It will come to pass that’s all they say, my uncle from mom’s side, friends who came to visit … they never saw the tears but damn am just so empty. Home doesn’t sound or feel like home anymore. I don’t see any reason why I should ever wake up, why I should continue to eat, when the future seem so bleak. I just lost my reason for living. I don’t have any sense of direction, I don’t know what will become of me and what life has to offer ahead. Everything just seem so dark, keep wishing she’d just take me as well. Rather than I continue living all miserable and these tears cant seem to stop falling.

 

I try to be strong in front of everyone else but when am alone with my thoughts and my fears I cant stop .. cant stop these sorrow that’s slowly eating me.

 

Rate this:
2.5

7 Comments »

  1. There’s so much reason for you to continue living. I know that though your mind is shrouded with fear, sorrow and confusion, you will get by…
    I’m sure tita would want you to remain firm and strong. There’s so much in store for you bro… *hugz*

    Rate this:
    		2.9

    Comment by no imageLex (Who am I?) — December 10, 2007 @ 10:07 am

  2. I stumbled here from witchy.. No matter how we say ‘you’ll be fine’, none of that registered in your thoughts. I’ve been with that pain..its hard to lose someone you dearly love..but as always, we need to continue..we need to move along no matter how hard it is.

    It takes time..that’s expected… but hold on to those tiny lights that shines from a far. It may not mean something to you right now but those lights are your guide when you walk away from that dark and hurtful place you’re in right now.

    In behalf of the blogosphere..I’m including my name here to walk with you..I’m a stranger but I’m a friend and I feel ur pain. You can rest in my shoulder…

    Rate this:
    		2.5

    Comment by no imageGladys (Who am I?) — December 10, 2007 @ 3:42 pm

  3. hi…im sorry about what happend. There’s always a reason for everything. Just always pray, God will never ever give you something that you won’t be able to surpass. Be strong…

    Rate this:
    		2.9

    Comment by no imagejean (Who am I?) — December 11, 2007 @ 4:28 am

  4. so sorry to hear about your loss. be strong and keep your faith.

    Rate this:
    		2.9

    Comment by no imagejuliana (Who am I?) — December 11, 2007 @ 4:59 am

  5. hello, I’m witchy’s friend and through her blogsite, I came to visit yours. Just don’t stop feeling lonely and miserable. don’t stop the pain. don’t even force yourself to be strong even if deep inside you’re about to crumble. you lost a mother, the most wonderful person we could ever have. of course you have the right to feel the pain, to cry a bucket of tears and to be depressed. it may take awhile but i know and you know that someday, you will get by. just try to go on. no matter how hard it is, you should go on. be sad today, you’re free to do that and people will understand you. wag mo lang kalimutang bumangon. before i end, let me share you this favorite line of mine. it’s from Mitch Albom’s book Five People You Meet In Heaven:

    “Lost love is still love. It takes a different form. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn’t.”

    You’ll be alright. I’m sure of it.

    Rate this:
    		3.0

    Comment by no imagejei (Who am I?) — December 11, 2007 @ 8:23 am

  6. thanks guys for the support and the kind words … though I dont know you all personally except for Lex, am thankful just the same, for the support, for droppin by, and for the encouragement. Am numb, when am with people I can easily put on the facade of the usual me but when silence is my company … thats when the sorrow takes place … I know I’ll get by but as of now the future just seem so bleak.

    Rate this:
    		2.5

    Comment by no imageMy Pink Shoelace (Who am I?) — December 11, 2007 @ 11:55 am

  7. I just came back from my smartbro connection today.
    I am really glad that some of my friends are here visiting you in your sad moment. Life is still good though your hurting now…. it is still good. I am now hugging you…. feel my sincerity.
    Friend, God bless and I will also pray for your mom.

    Rate this:
    		1.7

    Comment by no imagewitchy (Who am I?) — December 16, 2007 @ 4:08 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment