The ceremony was done yesterday at the Chinese Cemetery where our forefathers dating back in the 1900’s lie, I , the daughter, didn’t shed a single tear. Am just done crying, am numb. I was the usual me … I laugh, I smile, I walk, I talk like an automaton. Kitoy, Bebang, Noel and Alex were there, Alex showed up at the church, the least person I expected showed up , so ironic when the very person I wanna see, I was hoping to see damn I should say praying to see, didn’t show up, can’t be there for reasons I don’t know and in the cloudy state of mind am in, it lead to the equation that he simply didn’t care.
I went to school today as if nothing happened, saw a colleague from work, she asked me how I am, I smiled … the usual bubbly me kinda smile. She must presume am okay, I am technically but seems like half of me is dead. I met up with Mik, A and bukie and we had lunch together, A said people from work were asking when am coming back, her response was, if she will come back.
She asked me the same question, and all I did was smile. Coz I myself don’t know if I should or I should not. The very reason why I work, the driving force in everything I do is gone and somehow everything is just not worth it anymore. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t only time will tell.
But as of now, I just don’t see any reason why I should.
My Pink Shoelace @ 9:08 am 
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i’m so sorry to hear about that!..here’s a hug for you…
Comment by
idealpinkrose (Who am I?) — December 15, 2007 @ 2:19 pm
hi pinkie! you’ll be alright….hold on.
Comment by
jei (Who am I?) — December 17, 2007 @ 9:51 am