Moving On

December 18, 2007

Moving On

*sigh* as life didn’t stop when she left me, here I am picking up the pieces in attempts of moving on. I still don’t know what’s in store for me in the future seeing that am going through life alone. I’ve never felt so lonely as so left out, I know that people from work and my friends think that not much has changed, am still the same bubbly me and somehow seeing me like that gave them a sort of reassurance that am okay. The most tiring job of all time is masking your feelings, switching from this to that, just to assure not yourself but those people around you that things are gonna be okay.

In the silence of the night, when am alone with my thoughts and my fears I drop all masks and pretenses, the scared lil me comes out. Scared of what the future holds, scared of not knowing what to do, scared for all that was and for all that will never be.

People at work keep asking me when I’ll come back, it ticks me off to hear that question, I know its their job to ask but can’t they let me be even for once? To mask the question with words to show they care is just so phony.

Am going back to work … yes, like an automaton newly fueled. The masquerade has to continue, I’ve yet to have my dance.