My Pink Shoelace

We talked for two hours, the creepy one and I,  I wrote it a month ago and a lot of things have changed since then. The emotions I felt for one day were gone, it was over the next day so sad that they have to read it now when I can barely remember the feeling. For what I wrote … I came out as the villain when am just an onlooker describing the riot of emotions I felt then and there.  But no matter, I’ve told him that things are different now … he will always be the brother am never blessed to have … and in a span of a month I’ve grown to trust bit by bit a few people.

Was talking to D last night and I thought things were okay that the slight change in the “weather” was just normal. Why didn’t he confront me bout what I’ve written? *sigh* I was at the mercy of what they thought about what I wrote and about me as a person. Creepy One said their first reaction was that I was plastic for not showing what I feel. *sigh*

Creepy one and I are okay … he will always be what he is to me now … was just saddened why D didn’t ask me about it. He was there when they read it, for all the change I know now what causes it.  If I had any inclination as to what just occurred when he said he was reading through my blog I would have gotten the idea. So so so sad … am at a loss.

So its my fault now … that she has read what I’ve written months ago, that she found it out before he has and now the both of them are mad at me for writing what I think, what I’ve felt at that time some time ago. The post was not only intended for them, it was a regular ranting of what’s going on around me just so happen that they were there. Am not working on a disclaimer, just sucks to have people sulking for what I’ve written and now … now am feeling bad because they’re mad at me for writing what I wrote, for feeling what I’ve felt, for thinking what I thought so long ago. A friend said am not s’pose to feel bad as I don’t mean them it was someone else or it was something else, the whole experience itself ….  And why does she have to read our blog anyway??? *Sigh* The damage is done …  and guess I’ll be facing the consequences for what I thought to be another useless ranting.