Can no longer count the number of times I’ve shed tears today, I don’t usually pity myself but right now, am just at my lowest. People talking about their families hit me straight in the head, couple of times I thought I heard her voice calling me, or at the mall I saw her standing with her back facing me only to find out it was just someone almost similar to her. Went home late, made me realize I can stay out all night for all I care no one’s gonna look for me, I basically don’t have any reason to go home. When Mitchy asked if am gonna buy groceries inwardly I said I got no one to buy those groceries for.
I keep a happy facade at work, for the sake of those people who care, for them not to worry about me. But I can’t keep the facade 24/7, I crumble when no ones watching.
Am just waiting for that day, that blissful day, where she’ll realize am better off with her than here and then we’ll be together.
I woke up one Sunday morning and logged in to check if I had any mails online; nothing. So I walked to the nearest convenience store to buy some newspapers; it was a Sunday and I often make it a point to get my daily dose of what’s happening around in the country. I saw an ad about buying my own house. I’m still young, but I need to think of the future already; knowing that we will eventually settle down in the future. Then I remembered about a fellow blogmate’s advice about applying for a Mortgage to be sure that I have something to look forward to. The good thing about it is its convenience. You simply have to complete a form about yourself, wait for a call from a financial agent, and then you simply get a free quote! That’s it. I’m definitely going to read thru it to ensure that I get the most out of this investment. 
Was thinking of getting a life insurance for myself as I’ve heard that this would come along handy to me in the future. Aside my own personal savings according to friends and colleagues it’d be nice to have sort of investment and that I can get an insurance for as low as 3USD per month. Whew!!! I didn’t know that. So was checking online for this info and see what else I can gather, seems like this is kid of rate not only applies to adults like me but there are also children insurance which is quite cheaper, 2.49USD per month. This would be nice for parents and its a reassuring fact knowing that as early as now you are giving your child a financial head start.
Its the 24th of Sunday, and after a month or so of waiting its finally here. We’ve planned this last January originally to Bohol but then due to the cost we opted for Malapascua. I know I’ve had so many disappointments in life thats why its a wonder this one still hurts, I guess all of them would always hurt.
Am disappointed …
first: coz seems like am the only one looking forward to this
second: coz of the bad weather and though we’ve decided on an alternative she doesn’t seem interested
third: because with the current emotional state am in … seems like everyone has deserted me and I got no one else to talk to.
I keep praying for mom to just … just take me away. Misery has been my sole companion lately and am afraid I’d crumble any minute.
A wanted to do buy and sell, she has been bugging me about it for quite sometime, our dilemma is on which goods to buy and sell. Also how much capital we would need, I mean it would totally depend on what items were gonna buy and sell. But I was thinking that should this go big which I hope it would we’re definitely gonna need Small Business Financing to assist us. Am sure she wouldn’t mind after all its for a good cause, for our soon to become business. She does the selling and I do the buying … after all am not much of a PR person. 
