My Pink Shoelace

Thats what I told him and he said, “You wouldn’t want this, I thought I did but now am not sure”. He’s mad and his emotions are on the extreme making him say things I know he’ll regret the moment he’s calmer and has taken control of his emotions. This is not the only time he’s told me of their fights and I hate it when he’d say things about giving up on her, on them. Am not the world’s greatest optimist but when it comes to him, to her, to their relationship, the positivist in me takes full force. I saw what he did, I know what he’s done to win her heart, I know how he feels about her, heck I’ve seen happiness in him with her thats why I believe all of these are just tests, ugly phases every couple has to face in the relationship.

I sound like a freaking, marriage counselor grrr … when I don’t have any to get my insights from but I’m such a nutcase over love and him and her is just like … a fairytale come true, and just like every fairytale there’s that wicked someone … that devilish rogue and a whole lot more thats why I keep telling him, you love her she loves you thats all that matter.

Apparently its now and we both know it. A part of me still clings to this fairytale romance that so long as there’s love things ought to work just fine. It scares me to see so much wrath in one chat session and am glad we weren’t talking face to face, he has always been the calm one so it was scary to read all those words and I realized no amount of positive vibe coz subdue him. He’s hurt and there’s nothing I can do about it.

What they’re going through, this rather very ugly phase, doesn’t change my mind and heart for wanting what they have. Someone told me, he’s looking forward to that day he won’t have to go home to an empty apartment and that there’ll be someone waiting for him to ask him about his day, to cook dinner for and to plan the future with, and I realized I want that too …  to once again have a reason to look forward to going home, to have someone to share how my day’s like … trivial things like that. Maybe someday I’ll have that.