Hurting So Bad … It Burns
Hurt – beyond words, beyond reason and logic. Why did I fall for someone whom I know would never catch me? And why do I keep this wishful thinking and keep on getting hurt when I knew time and again that this would just be the case?
Does he abhor my company so much that he can’t find the words to say no to my simple invitation? I messaged him about something which he replied to but when I asked if he’s coming or not he didn’t reply. I stood rooted to the ground, debating whether to wait or to just call it quits. A part of me knew he’d never come but still there’s that silly voice inside my head that keeps on hoping he would.
Much to my dismay not only didn’t he show up he didn’t even send a message, so I stood there looking at schedules without really seeing for an hour … tears clouding my eyes. An hour … hoping for a simple message, I would have taken it at face value if he’d said no, that would have not been so bad. But to stay silent and leave me wondering … was downright painful.
I should have seen this coming, am not the kind of person who insist my company onto those who disdain it and that’s one painful lesson learned.
I haven’t cried this much since mom died and all the while I thought am immune to tears apparently his attitude and his insensitivity hurt more than I gave it credit for.
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