You Know What, I Envy You
“You Know What, I Envy You.”
I’ve heard those lines over and over from several people at work that I’ve grown accustomed to it but when the boss of my boss’ said that I was like … “what????!!!! that’s bullocks”. She said, “I envy your pictures of the places you’ve been, I’ve never been there and I don’t think I can not in the near future.” Well duh!!! What do you expect? You’re literally married to your job and you got a family to attend to at the same time.
Then the immediate boss of my boss said the same thing only he said it twice on different occasions and I was like ..”dude, you have everything … I on the other hand only have pictures of the places I’ve been to.” Then he said, “I envy you because at your age (23) you’ve been in and out of the country at a whim, you get to do things you want but I can’t.” Hmmm … I’d love to have a kokopelli tattoed on my right wrist but I can’t because mom said no … and though she’s dead I honor her words like a covenant. So there … I can’t do all the things I want.
Yeah, he can’t and she can’t not that they don’t want to but because they have other priorities like tuition fee, milk, housing loans, rent etc… and then my immediate boss said the same thing, it was so redundant it didn’t surprise me anymore. With two kids in private school amongst other things travel out of the country is just of the question. These people are earning at least 50K and up every month .. yet they envy a mere agent like me who only earns what less than 1/4 of their monthly pay. Just plain bullocks!
I’ve heard that line from friends and team mates that it made me wonder … did they also envy the fact that I lost the only living relative I have? Did they envy the fact that I live a very lonely existence? That despite how busy I’ve made myself I still come home to an empty house? I don’t think so … all they’ve taken account for are the things that I’ve done, the things I can do, the things I can buy and the places I can go to.
I was just glad that when they said those words I was able to control my mouth from saying “Good for you” coz I would have no idea what it would have meant but it just sounded right. Despite their enormous pay and company status I am pleased to say that I don’t envy them. Becoming a corporate slave for who knows how long is not my cup of tea.
What these people need to understand is that I as a person am walking on a thin line between sanity and the psychiatric ward, things have never been the same since she left and though it’s almost two years since she passed away am still picking up the pieces.
Did I say shallow? Coz that word just crossed my mind. Shallow … hmmm. Are you?
