Being able to stay beside the one you love is one of the privileges of a friend. – Usami Akihiko
A friend of mine contracted this famous illness that no anti-biotic could ever cure about a week ago; yes she got her heart broken. We chatted AIM and I listened to her rant, rave, and whine about this guy who’s giving mixed signals. Our conversation eventually led to her saying that she can’t be friends with him anymore otherwise how on earth can she move on. I told her the quote from above and she asked me how did you get over him. Huh! Good question …. I was thinking more in the lines of … am I really over him or was it just bravado or keeping face that had me say I am.
Then one thing led to another and dinner with her and him was set on a Sunday after my piano class. The moment I woke up on Sunday till the time I had to get ready for class I was debating whether I should go or not. Seriously I have not seen him for a year and though I’d like to think my heart is safe am not sure if that really is the case. Was I ready to test the waters? Or will I end up where I did four years ago?
When I saw him and when he saw me … it was spontaneous, nothing has changed we’re still friends and am glad. Am glad I didn’t make an ass of myself by telling him I can’t be friends with him anymore. Am glad that whatever emotional struggles I had I kept it under wraps. I survived dinner just fine and surprisingly found myself enjoying the company of these two people whom I haven’t seen for a year.
Someone used to tell me before … I may not have her as my girlfriend but at least I have her as a friend. At that moment that’s all that really mattered.
What’s suppose to come next to that phrase is the word “affection” right?? I mean typically that’s the common word but not with him. I always thought they look good together and after seeing them all sugary sweet one time I thought that was the real deal. Unfortunately it wasn’t and many of us wondered why … they just drifted apart from the sugary sweetness to the cold “hi and hello” kinda thing. Without knowing fully well why I kept on teasing him senseless and he’d say, “We gotta talk about that” … and I was like yeah … what really happened???
We never got to talk about it … we only did just a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been teasing him for months!!! Now what turned out to be the object of his affection turned out to be the very person who’s now making him wanna puke! Can you imagine???!!!!!
This is what happens when love turns ….. sour!
Her: I don’t know if I should be saying this
Her: but I think I should before you would know it from other people
Her: do you know that he will be going on a date?
Moi: nope … I haven’t spoken to him in ages … and if he is then good for him
Her: he already asked her out on Sunday
Moi: cool 
Her: are you sure?
Her: okies
Moi: yeah, are u worried about me?
Her: kinda…
Her: am always worried about you
Moi: ohhhh that’s so sweet and thanks … but am ok. I might not be if this thing happened two years ago … but I hardly know the person anymore.
Her:
And its true had this been two years ago I would have been disappointed like a mindless rag doll. But things are different now … what must have seemed like a sweet thing, the most likely match, the perfect symphony as others would have it doesn’t hold true now plus the person I used to know doesn’t seem to exist anymore and true people change but I’ve chosen to preserve the memory of who I used to know rather than deal with who he is now.
She might think I still hold the torch for him but I no longer do … it’s like that time when you say you’re totally in love with Leonardo Di Caprio after watching Titanic but in truth you’re infatuated with the character he played in the movie … uhmmm like falling for a highly idealized character of the person you subconsciously created. Just one of those Cinderella fantasies.
So … it’s safe to say am happy for him and if he chooses to keep me out of the loop then so be it. As mom would have it, another person’s affair is none of your business. But am really glad that she worries and that she lets me know … it’s very sweet and affectionate of her.
Just got home from watching “New in Town” starring Renee Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. This is my kind of movie … the one’s with a romantic happy ending. Am such a sucker for romance and a certified hopeless romantic. I find the movie cute and damn those stilettos … hehehe watch the movie to see what I mean.
Anyhow, My Pink Summer Contest is still up and running. I hope you guys can join click on the banner below for more details.
For an updated list of the eligible contest participants, click here.
Rode with Aisat to Ayala from where I took another jeepney going to my school. Guess who’d ride the same jeepney am in??
That guy I have not seen since I finished college
That guy who back then made my heart beat like its about to burst
That guy whose smile made me tongue-tied all of a sudden
That guy whom I wished to run into at every corridor back then
That guy who made me seriously consider changing courses
That guy who made me wish I don’t have to worry about grades and school … then maybe we’d get along
That guy who made me wish of happy endings
That guy who made me lose my train of thought during an extemporanous speaking contest when he got in.
That guy who made me wish I was what more feminine or sophisticated or maybe prettier then maybe he’d notice.
That guy who made me wish he’d look at me like am someone special.
*sigh* and after all these years … damn!!! he still made my heart beat like its gonna burst.
Just like all those other times … all I can do is look and stare … from a distance.
My Pink Shoelace is getting some lovin. Weeeeeeeee
Windmill included me in this beautiful Valentine’s Meme, am very pleased when upon logging on to my blog what greeted me was his message informing me of this meme.
Thanks much Windmill for dropping by some love my way.
All the world need is love … lots and lots of love.
So am spreading the love onto my blogger friends:
Bena of Bena-yot: Voila V-Shape
Diva of Lakbaydiva.com
Doi of Doispeaks.com
Lily of Prettyfirefly.com
Pink Mama of Pink Thoughts.com
Andrea of Life Is A Journey
***start copy***
Rules:
1) Once you’re tagged, install the corner banner at your blog as a third party html code. (The corner banner need to stay at your blog for at least 2 weeks.)
2) Post about this meme, Valentine’s Love.
3) Add your blog/s with link/s to the Valentine’s Lovers list and leave a comment at this post HERE.
4) Tag all your special friends. Please don’t forget to add the corner banner, please click HERE to get the code .
Something stupid like … I love you (lol!!). Me and my blabbermouth was on the loose again. A year ago I asked (quite impulsively) Are you falling for me? (assuming noh?!!) well the answer I got was sweet and cute … I think it went over my head … (did it?). It was nice though … now after a year … with all its changes both good and bad … and I waited for a year to make sure I know what I want and am sure of how I feel. Did a few turns here and there but it didn’t work … it was kinda unfair to the other party for using him to test my emotions … but a girl’s gotta make do with what she has.
So after talking to one of my besties I asked yet another assuming question. The response I got a year ago still holds true so I said … if I said I want you…if I said I need you…if I said I love you…what would you do? … its a conditional (defensive!!) question because of the word if … and I was told there was only two way to go … he’d stay or he’d run away.
Now am not sure under which side he’s response would fall under bec. it was neither … I blurted the question out w/o really thinking of the pros and cons, was taunted by the question tossed towards me … would I rather sit back and keep mum and contemplate on what could have been …. so there, I asked and was answered. I don’t even know how to face him when I bump his way … thinking bout it, my cheeks are already burning bright red.
Diva once told me he’d always tell that person how he feels and take it from there, at least he knows where he stands and then move on. I’ve laid down my cards and its up to him on how he’d take it. Good or bad … there’s always time and room for moving on.
Just a series of what if’s … no definite ending.
23 on the 23rd … presents are very much appreciated. lol!
