My Pink Shoelace

I said goodbye to my second family earlier today. I handed my resignation letter effective immediately and I am just glad that the big boss accepted it … otherwise my four years tenure would go down the drain. People were surprised, they knew that at some point I would leave they just didn’t expect it to be so soon.

I filed a leave for the first two weeks of June last April and there no feedback whatsoever and no response to the follow up I made, I only knew last Wednesday that it was disapproved because of staffing issues.  For personal reasons I have to be overseas for these dates and I chose to leave … what I didn’t expect was it to hurt the way it did and I cried, cried like I did when mom died. Anj told me not to cry much, she said it’s not a loss but an opportunity for me to venture out on something new.

I guess I wasn’t ready emotionally to let go of the people I have come to love … it sucks and a part of me is afraid that with the separation I made with the company comes the separation of the friendship I have with so many people. I have become rather clingy ever since mom left after all friends are all I have right now and I hate the thought of losing them.

Before I went to the office to tender my resignation I made a promise to myself that I won’t cry … my friends would always be around no matter where I work and we’re just one text away from each other.  But that changed when I said goodbye to dodong and cried, I cried when I talked to Te Kate yesterday and I’m just glad I didn’t see Mitchy on the floor earlier otherwise it would have been too difficult to stop the tears from coming.

Weng, you are such a crybaby! I mentally scolded myself over and over … but you my dear reader must understand, this is my first job, a job I held for four years and leaving all these people behind was harder than I could ever possibly imagine. We said we’d keep in touch and am holding that thought close to my heart; my comfort words.

**Sayonara – It Has Been Sweet‏**

I suck at saying Goodbyes … so I’d do it in writing.

It has been an amazing four years with you guys, I’ve found my second family here and it’s painful for me to leave but the circumstances forced me to choose … I’m at the point where no matter how I want to compromise I can’t seem to have both.

I cannot begin to describe how thankful I am to have met all of you … so I guess this it …  and I’ll see you guys around.

 —-

 Weng

————– end of chapter 1

————– looking forward to starting chapter 2

Hahaha so I slapped myself senseless to open eyes to the fact that taking night classes on a Tuesday night is not at all healthy, God knows how cranky I could get if my sleep lacks my even just a few minutes especially on Wednesdays as it’s super duper queuing. So I made up another rather impromptu decision which by the way cost a fortune to go one on one. This all for the satisfaction of this brat’s whim … that’s how my aunt would put it and I suppose at some point she is right *sigh*. At the moment all I want is this and China … og well I s’pose they go hand in hand.

I still have settle the fees and come up with a schedule, I’m thinking either Friday morning or afternoon or maybe Thursday afternoon. So long as I don’t have work the day after am good.

My last entry was dated May 9, 2010 tsk tsk tsk been gone for a while hehehe … so let’s see what has happened since then.

- the election [w/c I chose not to partake ... as I am politically illeterate]

- Bena’s “farewell” lunch

- Mother’s Day [ Mommie Cherry's pasta was super delicious]

- school, school, school

I started this December 2007 and after say 6 sessions I stopped, why? let’s just say it was full moon and head started going bananas. So close to 3 years after … I picked up where I left off and heaven forbid for another round of full moon madness. lol.

September is fast approaching … and I can hardly wait I just hope they’d allow me to go,  at 1/4 of the things that I need to paper is already done … weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Him: It’s been close to 3 years since I last saw you. I hope you still remember the basics.

Me: *just grinned foolishly*

Him: Can you at least make a sentence?

Me: Wo xihuan ni.

Him: Hen Hao.

Me: Xie Xie

I am going to take the exam this March [first week of March] and I cannot live with myself if I fail. Sheyt! I am book smart and it’d be a major disgrace if I don’t ace this; problem is I have been on hiatus from school for close to a year … so I’d have to cram 2 years worth of lessons into my cro-magnon skull. Grrrrr …

So safe to say I am scared shitless and I am hoping the vl I filed for a week gets approved otherwise you know what  would be EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!

and there might just be a third … lol. Okay so I filed for leave [unpaid! as always] on the 23rd and the 24th and on the 29th all the way to the 5th of December. Doi was right if I cannot find someone to accompany me on my “laags” then I’ll go on my own … what are these feet for??? nyahahaha.

But really am crossing my fingers that all of ‘em would get approved … work has been work … and there are several faces I prefer not to see and bump into the halls but as Bena said, we gotta endure, I gotta endure for the fulfillment of my plans.

So Weng, quit being stingy! yikes!

I’ve probably written this a hundred of times and am writing it again. I hate my work. I hate waking up every 12 midnight to get ready for work. I hate standing outside the street waiting for a cab at one in the morning. I hate having to answer all those calls with sarcastic people on the other end of the line. I hate having to work out on those metrics and I hate having to follow the rules. But then in this society we’re in civilized people follow rules … otherwise you’re out.

Gosh! So much hate on there now isn’t it. I know you’d prolly say, “Stop yapping and quit”. I know I’ve told myself as much but right now am trying to persevere in the fulfillment of my plans so I’ll just rant it all out here. I certainly can’t tell my boss I hate doing what am doing now can I? lol

But it’s official, I don’t like being a human switchboard, and when all things fall into their respective places then I’ll hand in my resignation without hesitation.

Breathe … breathe … breathe … that’s what I keep telling myself.

Working as a part time tutor is pretty cool. I mean I love all the activities am preparing and I myself am learning along the way which is fun though it kinda sucks away what little was left of my free time. I guess that means I gotta work more on my time management (not something I think am good at) and work on making room for other stuff.

I need to re-establish my routine here.

Am not sure if I am all pleased but I guess I am thankful that I still have a job to come home to. Though how long I am holding the forth that I am not sure. Things have gotten kinda hard for me given my long absence and sometimes just letting go and walking away is very tempting. A good friend of mine is leaving the company to do what he loves the most and I envy him for having the courage to walk away while I on the other hand is too much of a coward to do the same. I don’t have the strength to leave my comfort zone and explore the unknown. It’s like history repeating itself. I go on LOA on summer and come back to work struggling and grumpy. What a waste!!!

My Pink Summer Contest is about to end. It was fun and am looking forward to setting up more contest.

We’re asked to fill out the Self Appraisal form, the very same one we filled out when we were about to be regularized. Just finished mine and never thought writing “truthfully” about thyself could be so hard. Am not sure if what I’ve typed were enough for whoever it is who’d find time to read it but it certainly was enough for me, the lesser you type the lesser the errors. lol

When you try to be good at the job your doing it doesnt really help when the people around you would just tell you to just go ahead transfer that back to the tech team who transferred the call to me … getch?

customer transferred to tech
tech transfer to switchboard (as issue is beyond their scope)
switchboard (me) understood issue but no where in the resources does it say which dept. can assist the customer further …
colleagues (not very helpful) just said transfer that back to the tech (same tech customer worked with) …

Wasnt very helpful now was it?

23 on the 23rd … presents are very much appreciated. lol!

After working on a presentation for school in Starbucks, I decided to call it a night and head on up to the lounge, on the elevator I saw David and he asked me what am doing in the office when its my RD. I told him am gonna sleep for a bit in the lounge and help out with the bulletin board. He was like … why? are you assigned with the bulletin board?. I was taken aback by his question … is that how these people think of things? I mean just coz someone else was already assigned with the creation of the bulletin board doesn’t mean the rest can just standby and watch … right?

Its a team bulletin board and any help given is highly welcomed … oh well … I overslept in the lounge hehe I was able to help only for a short period of time but at least it was done. Momie Lai won’t go pointing out how barren our spot is compared to the rest.

23 on the 23rd … presents are very much appreciated. lol!